Monday, January 01, 2007

LOST in Transit(ion)

Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco
They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo
You can see me, you can't squeeze me
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy
I got reasons why I tease 'em
Boys just come and go like seasons...


Mesdames et messieurs, nous entrons dans maintenant un secteur de turbulence. Tous les passagers sont priés de retourner à leurs sièges et d'attacher des ceintures de sécurité pour leur propre sûreté. Merci.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we're now entering an area of turbulence. All passengers are requested to return to their seats and fasten seatbelts for their own safety. Thankyou..

The announcment woke me up from my Fergilicious slumber. Sore Neck. Legs cramped numb due to lack of motion. We'd been airborne now for little more than 6 hours, and were scheduled to make a landing in Paris in less than an hour. 'Next' lay half-open on my food tray, yellow light blaring down on the print. I looked towards my left and smiled, seeing WonderKid (Rakesh Bhai) still asleep. The guy could sleep anywhere, anytime, and even an earthquake would feel helpless trying to wake him up. FatRat (Shan) had woken, looking confused and disturbed and disoriented. I'd seen the look many times, cos we'd been room-mates for the better part of 5 months @ 105, and I'd disturbed his sleep a lot. Both of them were in a not-so-happy mood since the meal we'd got a few hours earlier had been anything but good. WonderKid especially had been well embarrased just before that. The air hostess had come by asking if we'd wanted Veg or Non-Veg, and he somehow figured that she was asking his name, so he said..Rakesh Pant. She smiled and said, Sorry, we don't serve that. Ok, the last part was exaggerated, she didn't say anything, she just looked at him as if he was a tard. Spandi (Sid) was sitting just in front of FatRat, watching the in-flight movies that were on offer. Not good ones also, Miami Vice, My Super Ex-Girlfriend and some other french flicks.

Bounce..Bounce..Shake..Shake..yeah that's what our plane was going through right now. Soul Plane ishtyle. Our seats were on Row 48, right at the tail of our plane, a 777. I was feeling lethargic, but my mind was on full-alert, cos I couldn't help recalling the words, "The tail section of the plane broke off mid-air. It must have crashed on the other side of the island." Yeah, too much of LOST in the last two weeks were having its affects on my 35,000 feet high n tired mind. (I was oncourse for finishing Season-2 but the broke down and never came back up, and hence I was stuck on Eps-20). But I had since then wondered how it would be like if our flight back to India had a similar fate to Oceanic's. And my ever-crazy, ever-imaginative mind was on a roll now, looking at my co-passengers and thinking, yeah, he'd make an excellent Locke, that guy looks just like Sawyer, she could be my Kate (I was Jack ofcourse). FatRat was Hurley, and WonderKid was Vincent no doubt.

50 minutes later, we'd landed at Charles de Gaulle. Local time was 6:00am on New Year's Eve. We got into the bus that was to take us to Terminal-2E. And then everthing started to make me feel like I was back in India. All the tired passengers were like standing for 15 minutes, but the bus didn't start. To make things worse, the driver decided to get out and take his daily morning stroll. People were starting to grumble now - the french chick standing beside me looked sick. Oh well, about 10 minutes later, we were finally on our way, and thus began the long, winding, and boring journey to 2E. By the time we reached 2E, Spandi duely noted that it felt like we'd reached BSK from Airport Road. Seriously, de Gaulle is huge. Just too big. We'd now have to make our way to Terminal 2F from 2E, which took another 30 minutes. And I knew the worshhtt part was yet to come - the striptease - yeah, the dreaded security check. I think it's worse for the ladies, cos you have to almost strip down to the bare minimum. The men don't complain too much ofcourse. Oh yeah, my bag was caught during the striptease at Dulles, cos the officer didn't know what to make of the 8-can package inside. Nor did I. I'd just put in some extra stuff that Spandi had to relocate, and so when he asked me what it was, I simply said "No Sir, I don't know." Giving me a quizzical look, he called another officer. The guy put on gloves and all, and started examining my bag. It turned out to be dog-food in the end, much to the officer's embarrasment and my amusement. Anyway, the striptease at this airport went by quicker and smoother, thankfully. After that we had to walk for almost 20 minutes to finally reach our destination - Gate F49, heavy cabin baggage and all. Why don't these guys have the walkways (horizontal flat escalators) like they do in Dulles?

And now here we are, the four of us, at Gate F49, waiting for our connecting flight, AF 192, to Bangalore. Another 90 min of waiting, and then the 9-hour journey. I'm hoping for some better in-flight entertainment atleast this time around.

//This post was written during the transit in Paris. It didn't get posted then due to lack of time and lack of Euros. I'm back lazing in Tvm now, and decided to put it up now.


US said...

Horizontal Escalators!?! They cannot be called escalators if they are not escalating.

Charles De Gaulle too Big! - Paris has the *highest* tourism in the world. Where do you think, they all enter? In some time, Indian Airports will be similar - Bangalore International Airport Bilair will commission in April 2008.


US said...

Boy's finally found a kid. WonderKid

Boy, this person is maybe 6 odd months younger than you OR maybe even older, and kid.

I like it.

What next. Baby, infant, toddler ... fetus, embryo, sperm! (Link)


stan_da_man said...

@us: grrr..i meant escalators not literally toy! hehee..was just trying to explain what a walkway is...
Oh yea n WonderKid (or WonderDog was i call him sometimes) is quite a find. Yea -> transgenic or even crazier hybrid species will soon be common :)

sneyyyhawww said...

oh look what we have here? someone seems to have discovered a new obsession. one phrase: I-TOLD-YOU-SO (said with smug expression on face) ha!

really entertaining post by the way. very well written. mummy read it n she was rather impressed too :)

stan_da_man said...

@sneyyhhaaaa: hellooo...ooof off...too head is hittin d roof...dont flatter me like dis...heheh..anywayz glad to hear ur mom also liked it!

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niki shredder said...

"ever-crazy, ever-imaginative mind" ..... wah wah !

samantha david said...

nice story

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Anonymous said...


Willie Sager said...

Nice post with awesome points! Can’t wait for the next one.

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